The Mystery of Madame X

Hello Gentlemen –

Well, so glad *that’s* over with now, aren’t we? After a particularly frigid cold winter, I feel like I’m almost finished thawing out… and just in time for Spring! I can’t believe it, just two days ago freezing rain and snow were being driven out of the sky and onto the roads, and now I’m here debating whether or not to shave my dog.

And honestly, I’m kind of in shock! I don’t know about you, but this winter has completely *drained* my usually half-full glass of optimism… time for a refill 🙂

I was actually looking for a well written rendition of my favorite drink, the St Germain sidecar (it’s a chick drink, I know, but it’s damn good!) to post for someone, but since Google does not drink, he decided that this looks like the best St. Germain recipe on the internet right now –

How do you make a screaming Orgasm?
Shanna Germain

If only it was my lover asking and not these pasty-faced
bar boys with their fake IDs, and their desire
to see me blush. I tell them about raspberry liquor,
pineapple juice, the clink of ice against the glass.
But I can tell it is not what they’re looking for,
their eyes following the shift of legs, the curve of hip.

If only it was my lover asking, then I would say:
Start with an ounce of slow soft strokes.
Combine two pats of butt with a whisper
of tongue against teeth.
Add a touch of hand to the back of the neck,
a lick of earlobe, a pinch of nipple.
Stir until you reach the desired consistency.
······················································Serve hot….

Actually, I’m inclined to agree with Google at the moment, that *does* sound like it would taste great, wouldn’t it? Let me know if you’d like to try your hand at playing bartender 🙂

Taking a good look at my calendar so far, it looks like 2014 is going to be a fantastic year! The weather’s warmed up to the point where I’m able to plan to go North again, and so I’ll be in Portland ME later on this month, from the 10th to the 15th. Grace Sheperd was nice enough to show me around the Old Port last time, and so now I know where to find a fantastic $5 dozen of oysters and a fantastic Earl Grey martini, as well as the best chocolate covered bacon currently being produced on the planet. So you know where to find me…

And speaking of oysters, I’ll be headed down to Long Island later on in April, which has been pulling up a number of fantastic oyster varieties out of it’s bays for the last few years. At first I was a little leery of eating anything out of the Long Island sound (whatever, admit it), but since my favorite West Coast oysters are off limits now (they officials *say* their safe… but whatever, admit it!) I decided to try something new, and was very pleasantly surprised! My new favorite oyster, at least for the next 250 years or so while the waste from Fukishima fades away, is the Naked Cowboy out of Port Jeff 🙂 The Island Creek Oyster Farm will always hold a special piece of my heart though… as long as they keep hosting that fantastic $1 oyster shot happy hour at the Bleacher Bar during Red Sox season!

And yep, I said Red Sox season, not baseball season… I wonder how popular I’ll be in NY?

That’s not the only excitement on the calendar – I’ll also be headed to New Orleans, and on into Miami in the fall. We’ll see what else comes my way and which ways I head in the meantime! So excited for warm weather, I don’t even know where to begin. It’s still a little early, but I’m already eyeing new breeds of tomatoes to put in the yard, and making plans to survey my diving spots… this year’s going to be awesome 🙂

While I’m a big fan of New Year’s Eve parties (the perfect way to destress after all that stifling commercialized holiday nonsense), I’d be all in favor of shifting the calendar so that the first day of Spring was the start of the new year. That’s when life really begins, isn’t it?

As if it weren’t perfect enough – these photos were taken in Maine, by a photographer from NY, what are the odds? And for your further viewing pleasure… I can’t wait to meet this woman in October!

Hello Gentlemen –

Happy Bastille Day to you all, and a belated 4th as well 🙂 Things have been well over here, just running around and trying to make the most of my summer! I consider it a fantastic success so far, all things considered – I’ve spent enjoyed plenty of time both at the beach and in the mountains, spent enough naked time in the sun to fade off most of my tan lines (there are still some there, if you look closely…) and my garden is bringing in plenty of veggies. My pepper plants actually have *peppers* on them for a change! You have no idea how happy I am 🙂

Last we sort of spoke, I was on my way to Philly, and I loved it. I didn’t really have all that much time to take in the sights, but I fulfilled my obligation as an American citizen and toured the broken bell and the money mint. The most exciting for me was the Rodin museum, and it was everything I hoped it would be. I’d love to go back fro round 2, as I barely had time to make it to the full art museum across the street! I’ve heard that there’s some good theater in Philly as well, but I didn’t get to see a scrap of it… perhaps you’ll find me back there at some point 🙂 I did find some time during my trip to take some new photos, but unfortunately not quite enough to populate a whole gallery like I like to do. So for once, the photos on my blog post are actually of me – hopefully that doesn’t confuse too many casual passerbys when they dig into my blog archives. Although, for those of you who have seen me, I’m pretty sure you can tell the difference between me and any other random internet model, lol.

Next, I’ll be headed to upstate NY – a beautiful place, especially in the height of summer. I’ll be in the Hudson Valley from the 21st to the 23rd, and then up to Albany from the 24th until the 27th. I’m looking forward to catching up with a few of my old friends, and rediscovering some of my favorite diving sites! Of course, you’re more than welcome to talk me down from the ledge and lure me inside for a few hours 🙂

Aside from that, I think that’s going to be my only foray far from home for the rest of the summer. I love New England during the summer, so why would I leave? As luck would have it, I’m also just a quick inquiry away from many of my favorite men 🙂 I do have a few local dates on my calendar though, so feel free to take a look. You’ll notice that I’m headed off to the casino again in early August, where I’m looking forward to meeting and catching up with several fascinating fellow hedonists for the evening. One is the amazingly delicious Tabitha Cook, who was nice enough to list me in her Chocolate Diamonds directory recently (I value my discretion, but appreciate the compliment :)). In honor of her, I’ve been spending some time tonight getting domestic and putting the finishing touches on my chocolate body paint recipe! I’ve made three renditions so far, which do you think that she’d like best? Which one do you think that *you’d* like best? My vote is for the chocolate chili, as I’m a fan of spicy girls 🙂

Chocolate Body Paint

Serves 2

Ingredients:
18oz  60% or greater dark chocolate, chopped
14oz cream
1/2 bunch mint, finely chopped
1 chili pepper, finely chopped
Double shot espresso

Method:
1. Divide cream into 3 individual pans

2. Add mint into 1 pan, chili into the second pan, and espresso into the third pan

3. Slowly warm each pan to a near simmer and remove from heat, allowing flavor to infuse for 15 minutes.

4. Place dark chocolate in a small bowl and set over a small saucepan of barely simmering water. Stir constantly until chocolate melts.

5. Remove pan from the heat.

6. Divide chocolate into 3 small pots.

7. Return pans of cream to heat and, once hot, strain each pan of cream into 1 chocolate pot, creating 3 separate flavored-chocolate body paints.

I would love to help satisfy your chocolate craving 🙂 Let me know if you’d like to take a taste test!

~Mme X~

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Hello Gentlemen –

Wow, the holidays sure did rush in on us, didn’t they? I almost forgot to buy my turkey… and since my dog didn’t bring any in this year (she’s doing much better, thank you to everyone who asked. Up and running, but not very long distances yet), I had to go to the store. And yes, to anyone that asks, I make an *amazing* bird! I just finished putting it in the pot to brine with a couple of oranges and a cup of honey, and have gotten a few pounds of bacon to slide under the skin. Bacon makes everything better 🙂 Especially if you’re a vegetarian!

It’s common knowledge at this point that food is the way to a man’s heart, but I have my suspicions that if science ever does find a way to a woman’s heart, food will somehow be implicated in that as well 🙂 Maybe moreso for some than for others, and maybe even more for me – I’ve been known to enjoy a human sundae on occasion, and I’ve got quite the sexual appetite. I scream for ice cream! I actually just scooped myself a ball of scotch bonnet ice cream, which plays a surprisingly fun game of hot and cold in my mouth. It would probably do the same to you. We should try that…

I’m not really a true believer in aphrodisiacs, but it seems my personal taste compels me to stock my fridge with chock full of all those goodies that supposedly drive a girl wild. Figs, ginger, oysters, chocolate, honey, avocados, arugula, shrimp… I grow a big tub of basil, rosemary and sage growing by the window, as it’s just too much of a hassle to for me keep fresh herbs in the fridge. Maybe that’s my secret? Such a good secret I’ve managed to keep it from *myself* all of these years (I do pride myself on my discretion, thank you very much) – I just figured that I liked good food 🙂

I was thumbing over the the internet looking for a good frosting recipe, and I once again stumbled upon Intercourses, the lusciously beautiful aphrodisiac cookbook. I’ve given it as a gift so many times (and just ordered a copy for my friend’s housewarming party later on this month), but I’ve never actually owned the book myself. Um, I’d like to? I *really* hate to be the one to rush through holidays, but I’ll gently remind you that Christmas is coming…

Not to be too short with you all, but I’ve got things to do and lemons to zest, so I’ll leave you with a joke and a video 🙂 But before I go, I’ll remind you of something else I forgot- my new pics in the photo gallery. They’re over there now (just not before last week’s casino trip as I promised – but wll in advance of my next one in January!) so go take a look 🙂

Top Ten Things You Can Only Say at Thanksgiving

10. Talk about a huge breast!
9. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
8. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
7. That’s one terrific spread!
6. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
5. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
4. Don’t play with your meat.
3. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
2. How long will it take after you stick it in?

And the Number #1 thing you can only say on Thanksgiving….

1. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Chocolate and Cream Food Fetish brought to you by PornHub

Hello Gentlemen –

Hope you all enjoyed your holidays! I unfortunately missed the last day of guaranteed Christmas delivery from Extreme Restraints, so I’m afraid a few of my gifts will have to be delivered in person when I get back after New Year’s… I hope you don’t mind 🙂

Beyond that, I’m happy to say that I made my list, checked it twice, am totally done with being nice and ready to get naughty. There’s something so liberating about both fulfilling and freeing yourself from all these holiday obligations… and since you were good enough to spend all that time taking care of others, now it’s time to do something good for yourself, right? Let’s erase all of that Xmas stress with some XXXmas action!

I usually like to hold off on making plans for the New Year until it finally hits, but there’s a few things approaching my calendar in January that warrant a little bit of advance acknowledgment. First off, I’ll be doing my best to head out to Chicago to wish one of my kinky Capricorn friends a ridiculously happy birthday, and I’d love to give and receive a few extra spankings while I’m out there. Man, it’s been a *long* time since I was in the windy city – But luckily the internet tells me that Tru is still around, and still serving their soup out of Versace coffee cups (which I must confess I find oddly charming in their hideousness and despite my usual aesthetic tastes have involuntarily learned to love them – maybe it’s just me?). I also had some amazingly good oyster shots there once, but I can’t remember the place… any assistance from a local tongue that loves to taste exotic flavors? Oh, and if you could recommend a well-stocked raw bar as well, that would be great 🙂 I’m planning on getting into Chicago sometime on the 11th and hanging around until the 16th, so be sure to be in touch if you’d like to, um, get in touch…

Before I leave, though, you may also notice on the calendar that I’ll be extending a select few (if even so many) invitations to visit me in Western Mass on the 6th and 7th… and yes, that means incall 🙂 Feel like dropping by to lose a few hours with me? I’d love the company! I’ve also got some things to do in New Haven that week as well, and am happy to offer a similar arrangement – I’m just not sure which day yet, but you’re welcome to contact me if you have an opinion on the matter 🙂

I’ve even got my eye out for February as well, as my best friend reminded me that Cinekink is coming up in NYC! For those of you who *aren’t* up on the scene of erotic cinema, Cinekink is one of the largest fetish film festivals running the circuits today. I’m sure you know that I fully embrace many forms of sexuality (and a little sexual deviance as well), and I’m definitely looking forward to the movies… about half as much as I’m looking forward to the after parties 🙂 It’s a ton of fun – as wild as Sundance, but much, much kinkier! I can indulge myself with a little voyeurism watching interesting scenarios on screen, and maybe if I’m feeling frisky I can seduce a few of my fellow festival goers into reenacting a few of my favorites after… How would you like to be my guest? I could use someone to hold on to in case something scary (or incredibly sexy) comes on to the screen – of course, in a darkened theater, no one will know exactly *what* part of you I’m holding on to. Of course, that’s our business, lol. Or, if you don’t trust yourself enough to keep your eyes on the screen while I’m within groping distance, you could try to convince me to skip the after party and we’ll plan our own private showing! Cinekink runs from February 16th to the 21st, but I’ll mostly likely be hanging around for a few days afterward to work out my kinks before heading home… and you’re welcome to help with that if you’d like.

If the idea of having the mysterious Madame X clinging to you in a darkened theater makes you think long and hard about possible excuses to escape to NYC, there is a second and much more flexible option. As you know, I’m an avid admirer of the sex on the silver screen… and while I usually prefer to enjoy fine skinematic works in the comfort of my own home (and my favorite toys), I occasionally make my way out to the theater to indulge in viewing such pleasures with others. My favorite venue is in Hartford… let me know if you’re in town, we can do dinner, a movie, and dessert 🙂

~Mme X~